Jun 22 13:01:22 107 PA - Sometimes it hurts

From Chronicles

Flare is sitting in the grass, humming a bit and watches things around her at the moment.

Heading into the park with a thoughtful expression upon his face comes Ash, the quick-flex moving at entirely human levels of speed. His hands are stuck in his pockets, wide dark eyes gazing down towards the ground just in front of him so he can see well enough to not run into anything but he seems to have no destination at all at the moment.

Flare looks up from where she is and looks over at Ash, "You look like you have a lot on your mind hun." she calls out to him as she lounges against a tree.

Hearing the familiar voice Ash lifts his gaze and looks over towards where Flare sits, "You could say that. How are you doing Flare?" He asks, making his way in the elfin woman's direction. Still he moves at a normal walk so it does take a few to get there.

Flare cocks her head to the side, "I am doing well enough, my worries are all gone and I feel great." she smiles a little, "You really should try to relax some." she says and gestures to the ground next to her.

"I'm about as relaxed as I can be Flare." Ash says with a little shrug, pulling one hand out of his pockets to scrub his fingers through his hair and down the back of his head to grip the back of his neck and give a little squeeze. Approaching he moves to sit down next to the woman and folds his legs up in a cross-legged position and leans back a bit against the tree. "Just a bit depressed. Isabeau won't come with me to Lazlo."

Flare raises a brow, "Why going to Lazlo?" she asks a bit curiously. She folds her hands in her lap for a moment, "I am sure you can get more relaxed, maybe you just need a good fucking." She is quite open, and doesn't mean it as a rude comment.

"Yeah sure, I'll get right on that." Ash says with a wry-smirk, "Tons of women lining up for that. You offering?" He shakes his head, "I'm going to Lazlo, because all my life I've lived in the Dregs. Had to keep one eye over my shoulder to make sure I wasn't being hunted. Thought if I saved up enough... I could move over to this side of the city. Found out that Slavery is still legal over here too. I don't want to live where Slavery is legal."

Flare blinks and looks at him for a moment, "Slavery? This has to do with the threat from Ahriman?" she asks, "Did Tirzah talk to you?" she looks at him for a moment, "One can move out, I lived in the dregs." she shakes her head, she isn't sure about the slavery thing.

Ash shrugs, "Ahriman's dealt with... somewhat. Tirzah's going to shield Isabeau, but it's still legal. That's why the cops didn't do anything. There's nothing illegal about slavery in Kingsdale." He shakes his head, looking off to the side, "If I moved out I'd still have to worry about all the same things." He shrugs a bit, "At least in Lazlo... slavery's illegal."

Flare looks at him for a moment, "There are always going to be problems, and while slavery might be legal, assualt and such aren't. There is a difference in purchasing a slave and making someone into one" she shakes her head a bit. "Well it isn't bad here, it isn't lots of nice people, just unfortunately a few bad ones."

"Not apparently to the cops." Ash says simply, "They didn't care that Ahriman went to try and force Isabeau into slavery. Tirzah said that if Ahriman had wanted, then the cops would have -helped him-. I can't stay where that kind of bullshit is allowed." He stands up then with a shake of his head, starting to walk away from the tree as he shoves his hands in his pockets, starting to pace back and forth. "She's safe anyways... I'm not. I've got no protection, and no way to deal with him."

Flare cocks her head to the side, "Really? Well maybe Ahriman needs to be taught a lesson." she shakes her head a bit. She looks at him, "But you said Isabeau is protected...well what would make you feel safer? Just leaving?"

Ash nods, "She is... she now works for Tirzah. I'm not." He shrugs, "And honestly, I don't care about Ahriman anymore, now that he's not a threat to Isabeau, it doesn't matter. What I care about, is living in this fake city. It presents this... veneer of being good and just, no assault, no rape, no murder, but it's just a disguise. Just a fake front. Besides... I've got no reason to stay anymore."

Flare looks at him, "If that is what you want, then go. I like it here myself, much nicer than where I grew up." she shakes her head, and if she says it is nicer, makes one wonder what she grew up like.

"I'm going to... just as soon as one last piece of business is taken care of." Ash says with a shrug and he stops walking, looking over towards the elven woman once more. He tilts his head to the side, studying her. "Hey... I'm sorry about... what I said before. About your 'shy' friend trying to start a cult. I'm just... paranoid by nature. The only one looking out for me, is me."

Flare shakes her head, "I lived like that for a long time, I grew up in the Chi-Town Burbs." she shakes her head, "A non human and a psychic, it was very rough." she shakes her head, "Have to let people in, alone is no way to live." she says and shakes her head a bit.

"Maybe when I find someone of my own race, I will." Ash says simply, looking over towards her. "I'm not an elf, I won't live forever... not fair to anyone I'm with. The only time my parents were happy, was when they were together raising me. When my dad died... my mom... she couldn't take it. She died shortly after... overdose." He shrugs a bit and looks off into the distance, "Not right for me to take someone's future and happiness away from them."

Flare looks at him, "Bullshit." she shakes her head, "You don't have the right to make that decision for anyone. Love is love, you treasure the time you get, cause tomorrow it could end." she shakes her head, "Just cause I live a long time, doesn't mean I can't die tomorrow." she shakes her head again, "Take love where you can get it."

"I have the right to make that decision for me." Ash says, narrowing his gaze slightly towards her. "I want a family some day. Sure, right now, I might not be able to have one. Right now, race doesn't matter, but I don't want to take the possibility of a family away from anyone else either."

Flare shakes her head, "There are many possibilities." she looks at him, "I thought I would never find love, since anytime I got close to someone I set them on fire. My first fiancee, died in a coma I put him there, and all we did was make out." she shakes her head, "People helped me and now I can get close to people." she shakes her head a bit.

Ash tilts his head to the side, "And now you're with Xander, I know, and he taught you how you can be close to people without catching them on fire. But is he an elf? Will you ever truly be able to have a family with him? Children? It might not matter to you, since you're going to outlive him anyways if he's not an elf. You can find love again, later down the road after he's gone and have a family. I won't live that long to do that, nor would I take the possibility of a family away from anyone else."

Flare looks at him, "And you are sure that you can't have kids with anyone but your own?" she asks as she looks at him for a moment, "What Xander and I have..." she shakes her head and breaks off for a moment.

"Yes I'm sure." Ash answers, "Never heard of any half-elves, or half-dwarves, or half-dog boys have you?" Ash shakes his head, "It's genetic, it's not like different colors of skin for humans. You'll live forever if you don't get killed. Humans can't do that, they're a different species. Just like Quick-Flex are a different species. Could try forever, with no protection, and never ever have children together."

Flare looks at him, "There are many possibilities you just aren't looking for them." she says and shrugs a bit, "Like I said, need to relax more, there is always adopting, finding a genetic donor for your lover, things like that."

Ash shakes his head, "Those aren't possibilities to me." He continues to pace, "I'm not keen on letting another man sleep with my woman just to knock her up either. Then it's not my child, it's hers and his. It's not my flesh and blood."

Flare looks at him, "Doesn't have to sleep with, you can go to a doctor, a lab, doesn't involve." she shakes her head, "You are defeating yourself." she shrugs and shakes her head, "You don't want to accept possibilites."

"I'm not defeating myself." Ash says looking over at her. "You're not understanding where I am coming from. If it's not my kid, my flesh and blood, it's not mine. It's not continuing my legacy. My family will die off with me, my whole line. How is that honoring my parents, or myself, if I don't have children of my own?" He shrugs, "Sure, I can fall in love with any race, can even have sex with most humanoid races, but that doesn't mean we can have a family. A -real- family, that's of both of us."

Flare looks at him for a moment, "I understand what you are saying, and obviously bloodline means more to you than love." she shrugs and shakes her head a bit, "There is more to family than just blood."

"Love. Is a myth." Ash says simply. "It's a fake emotion with nothing based in tangible reality. At best it's a weakness, letting your guard down. It makes you do stupid foolish things that otherwise make no sense." His tone is full of bitterness there.

Flare shakes her head a bit, "You are rather jaded." she says and shakes her head a bit, "Love exists."

"Everytime I've tried to love, it just ends up in heartache." Ash says simply, "Have every reason to be jaded."

Flare looks at him, and shakes his head, "I understand I do. And until someone gave me a little device to make things around me immune to fire I felt the same." she shakes her head, "Everytime I loved, I hurt them." she shakes her head a bit.

"Must be nice... to have a little device that just makes things work out every time." Ash says and then he moves to sit down beside her at the tree. "Wish I had something like that, made it so I wouldn't get hurt everytime my dreams fall apart."

Flare shakes her head, "I don't need it now, now I can control my flames better." she shakes her head a bit, "It hurts, but one has to be willing to be hurt to find it."

Ash shrugs, "Not willing to be hurt anymore." He wraps his arms around his legs, resting his chin on his knee's, "From now on... nothing and nobody gets inside. Sex will be Sex, and that's it... unless it's my own species can't ever be sure I'm not just being used."

Flare shakes her ehad and puts her hand on his shoulder, "I am sorry." she says softly, realizing how much he must be hurting.

Ash shrugs, "Not your fault." He says simply, even as he instinctively leans a little into the hand on his shoulder.

Flare nods, "I know it hurts, and sometimes it is hard." she says softly and isn't sure what to say or do really at the moment.

Ash asks, "If Xander wanted to move, out of Kingsdale, would you go with him?"

Flare shakes her head, "I don't know. Xander and I have a complicated relationship." she says softly and she means it, she doesn't know if she really loves the man or not.

"Ok, if you were in love with someone, truly in love with them, and they needed to move out of Kingsdale to be happy, would you go with them?" Ash asks, rephrasing his question and not making it about her and Xander, but just that nebulous 'love'.

Flare looks at him for a moment, "If that is what it took, but then I would also expect someone who was truly in love with me to talk with me, explain the reasonings, hear my side of it and such."

Ash nods, "Did that..." He says softly and then sighs, looking away from the elf. "Guess I was just being used after all. Should have expected it. Nothing but leading me on, promissing me things..." Ash shakes his head, "Fixed her problem, now, doesn't matter." He leans back against the tree and closes his eyes. "Shame on me... shouldn't let people into my head... they always use it against me... wish I could just... block them out somehow."

Flare looks at him for a moment and sighs, "And what were her reasons for staying? Were they as every bit valid as yours for wanting to go?"

Ash shrugs, "I don't consider half ownership in a fucking farm to be that big a deal."

Flare raises a brown, "A fucking farm, or just a farm?" she asks softly.

Ash can't help but laugh at that, "A farm... the fucking was just an expletive."

Flare smiles a little, "Well, family is important to you, what if the farm is just as important to her, a place to call hers?"

Ash shrugs, "It's not hers, she doesn't own all of it. It's just a farm, she could sell her share, we could pool up our money and go north together and buy land and work it together then it would really be ours. Obviously, I'm just not important enough to her." His tone goes bitter again.

Flare looks at him, "Did you talk to her about buying land together there? Did you ask her why the farm was so important?"

"Tried." Ash answers with a shrug, "But she doesn't want to leave. Just told me she'd 'cherish the time we had spent together' and that's it."

Flare nods and shakes her head, "How long had you been together?"

Ash shrugs, "A couple months... but I'd put aside my whole life to protect her from Ahriman. We spent a lot of time together, but..." He shrugs once more. "Guess... I was just being stupid. To think it meant anything real."

Flare looks at him and reaches over to touch his cheek, "So after a couple months, you are asking her to give up everything she has ever known, things that she just tried to protect from losing." she looks at him again.

"No, I'm asking her to come with me so she doesn't have to risk losing anything ever again." Ash says with a shrug, "I thought she wanted to be with me. Thought she was happy with me." He blinks a bit at the touch to his cheek, turning towards her a little so that his wideset dark eyes can look at her face. "She was more than willing to leave the city with me before... hell the whole planet she was willing to leave. Or so she said."

Flare nods and smiles a little, "Give her some time, talk to her, especially if she means that much to you, maybe find a way to stay."

"I don't want to stay." Ash says simply, "I don't want to live where slavery is legal." He gestures around, "If I stay here, I'll die here. I want to see more than this place. I want to live where I can be happy without having to worry about slavers trying to catch people I care about. Where I can go to the cops and it means something. I'm -tired- of looking over my shoulder all the time."

Flare looks at him, "Then do something to change it. Find a way to work in the law. To make the slavers now want to risk doing it here.{"

Ash looks over at her, "You're not getting it Flare. This place, the council... they make the law. I'm not rich, I'm not even a citizen. There's nothing I can do. If I try to go after the slavers, then I'll be breaking the law and they'll throw me in prison or make me a slave."

Flare shrugs, "Then go, then leave." she says and shakes her head, "Quit fighting." she shrugs, "But then I am just some stupid elf." she says as she moves to get to her feet.

Ash frowns, "I never said you were a stupid elf Flare." He rises to his feet and reaches out to take her hand and arm if she lets him. Well he does for a moment but then he stops and scowls, shaking his head he turns to start walking away, "Well, whatever... bye I guess."

Flare looks at him, "You still are defeating yourself, there is always a way, it just isn't always apparent." She says and then does wave to him.

"There's no point in trying to find one." Ash says, stopping to look back over her shoulder. "What is there holding me here? I have... nothing." He shakes his head, "Nothing to fight for. I'm just a street rat with no future."

Flare looks at him, "Fight for her, don't give it up." she shrugs and then turns to slip away herself.