Apr 24 01:46:20 106 PA
From Chronicles
Apr 24 01:46:20 106 PA
Golden Carafe - Leonard's Room
It'll be an ungodly hour when Vixen comes up Leo's door. A bit tired, perhaps, but not showing it too poorly for how early it is.. either just up or still not to bed that evening. She is just slipping her cig case back into her coat as she pauses at the door and, hands free, will lift her hand up and give a nice, firm knock on the door. The urgent, demanding sort of knock.
Perhaps appropriately, it will take several such knocks and several moments before the door is answered. Some fumbling with latches before it partially opens to reveal a likely formerly-dozing Leonard, dressed in only a pair of sweats. "Vix... morning?" He blinks blearily a few times before opening it further, as unsure of a greeting as the time.
"Close enough," Vixen replies to Leo when he opens the door. Her expression is firm, the softness and playfulness she's often shown not coming for the moment. "You the only one in there?" The words come out despite herself with the slight opening of the door. A simple sort of invitation. And with an edge, though she seems to draw back from the impulse even as it emerges. Her expression showing a touch of regret, if not full on apology.
"Why don't you come in, Vixen." Leonard opens the door further and steps aside to allow her to do just that. "Easier to talk here than the hallway." He presumes discussion is her intent since she didn't shoot him through the door.
Vixen does step in then, though she doesn't move too far before she turns. Neglecting taking a seat in favor of turning back towards him with her next words. More carefully chosen for the offering. "So.. you wanted to say something to me before. I wasn't in a mood to listen then without anger. I am now, if you still wanna say it. Maybe not without all anger, but I ain't so.. sore now."
Leonard is as wise and eloquent as ever, beginning his prime opportunity with a roll of his shoulders. "I'm not sure what to say, Vix. I can't erase what happened. It was entirely selfish, about what I wanted at the time, consequences be damned. You may have to fight suitors off with a stun baton, but that was a first for me. It had nothing to do with you." Which, of course, is the crux of the issue.
Leonard vents a sigh, though his eyes remain on her. "There wasn't much thought involved, obviously. I had a choice, and I chose to be bold, take something for myself, for once. You were the one that just wanted me for 'fun,' remember? You like fun, Maya hugs everyone in sight before picking a winner to drag to her coffin, and Tirzah seems to take great pleasure in taunting everyone she meets. Seems I was missing the sights hiding indoors and watching out the window all the time."
"I wanted that at first, but you convinced me to give more a try, remember?" Vixen replies. "And I was, because I thought I could trust you that I did." Soft accusation there, but she doesn't linger. "Don't compare me to those two. I ain't Maya and I sure as hell ain't as crazy as Tirzah is. And I don't have guys crawling all over me and I don't just fuck around either. I got more standards than that." She lifts her arms, crossing them over her chest. "I guess this comes right back to what you want again, since it seems you're thinking a lot more about you than me. So lets have it."
"I should have listened," Leonard admits, neither angry nor especially apologetic, "but, like most everything else, I was doing everything backwards. You were my entire world, Vix, even after I realized there was more to it than that. How can I know what I want in life if I haven't even lived it? Hells, how can you even believe I love you when all I have to go on is a feeling and a dictionary? Doesn't mean that I don't, or that I do, since there's no ... context. I never intended to upset you, but then my intentions never amounted to much until now."
"Yeah, should have known," Vixen replies, her mood not improved. She snorts faintly and turns on her heel, walking across the room aimlessly as she continues to speak, then back again. "Then I guess this is it, Leo. You want to sew your wild oats.. hell, you could have and I wouldn't have given a shit if you hadn't have made it more real. But you did. If you really loved me, it would mean something. Something more. You'd be thinking about how to get back with me. Are you? Or are you thinking about that other woman again? You think she loves you? Cares about you for anything more than a roll?"
Leonard watches her as she moves. "Something more than what, Vix? You are certainly more to me than her, since there aren't any expectations. Maybe that was part of the draw. I'm not trying to replace you, and I wouldn't even attempt it." Not that he might be doing a damned good job of it for not trying.
"More than lust, Leo," Vixen tells him. "It should mean enough that some tramp draping herself over you wouldn't end with you pawing all over her." She frowns darkly. "I don't feel important right now. Do you get that? I feel betrayed. And I feel fucking stupid for believing you meant it when you said you loved me. Because you aren't showing it. Forget replacing me, Leo. You're seconds from losing me because if I walk out of here, there ain't no do overs. I'm not playing second fiddle. Not to anyone."
Leonard's features finally soften and he steps towards her. "You're more to me than that, Vix. I know that much, but maybe I was wrong to have mentioned love. We both knew that I had no idea what I was talking about, and I didn't do the best job of showing it then, either. What is it you want me to say?"
Vixen steps back, keeping the distance between them, her expression firm as she considers him. "I want to know what you plan to do. I want to know if I can trust you. It's not just what you want now.. it's what you do. Can you look me in the eye and promise you won't be sleeping around anymore? Can you show me you understand what this means to me?"
Emayn appears in Leo's bedroom door wearing nothing but panties, her casual lean against the door frame made somehow graceful by her suble movements, a grin on her lips indicates that she's heard more than a little of the conversation in the main room. She lets her eyes move from one to the other, no shame or embarrassment present in her dark, almost black eyes, though more than a little amusement can be seen in her eyes as she waits to be noticed.
"I've never lied to you," Leonard stops his approach since Vixen makes it ineffective, "even when I didn't know how best to tell you everything all of the time, I tried. I know what it's like to feel unimportant, to be secondary, or worse. I've done that my entire life, Vix, and I'm sick of it."
For the moment Vixen is focused on Leo. "Then say it, Leo. What's stopping you? What.." She pauses, head cocking before she snaps a glance towards where Emayn stands. Her expression hardens and her eyes heat. And it doesn't fade when she looks back to Leo. "Tell that.." Her finger prodding at where the woman stands. "..to leave." She keeps her eyes on him as she makes that demand,
Ema tilts her head, eyes narrowing as she regards Vixen, "I have a name, sweetie." she says playfully, not a trace of animosity in her voice as she smiles, her movements fluid as she glides across the floor, her hand reaching out to grab a bra that floats towards her from behind the couch, "I'll be just a sec." she says, dressing, her eyes on leo as her grinning lips part.
Leonard follows Vixen's pointing and the moving voice to spare Ema a glance and a small, polite smile. "Thank you, Ema." After validating her claim of a name, he turns back to Vixen. "Nothing was stopping me, save myself. I just finally took your advice to heart, Vix. Far too late, maybe, but better than never."
Vixen ignores the other woman, save for noting that drifting bra. Her eyes narrowed subtly. Informational tidbit filed away for future use. "Then if you can't promise me, Leo, that's it. You can't tell me I'm important to you because if I was, you'd show some kind of empathy. But I don't feel no empathy off you right now. So if you want to keep screwing her, go right on ahead. Sew your fucking oats all you want." She's hurt and she doesn't try to hide it, starting to move forward, to barge past Leo on her own way.
Emayn grabs her dress from under a blanket on the couch, slinking into it arms first as it slides over her body. She grabs her coat and holsters as well, all conviently hidden, and smiles "I'm on my way out, do n't let me interupt." she says lazily, her feet slipping into her shoes before she heads also for the door, casting an almost apologetic look Leo's way, her lips and eyes telling a different story.
"I'm not going to beg nor plead, if that's what you want, Vix." Leonard pivots, turning his shoulders so that they parallel Vixen's path rather than block it. "I don't want you to walk out, but I've obviously pushed too much already. It works both ways, though, and you don't have to leave."
Vixen turns on Leo, still pretty much ignoring the other woman in the room for the most part. "Maybe I do want that. Cause then maybe I could believe that I mean something to you for real. I look at you right now and you don't even seem to care. You haven't pushed enough, Leo. Caring about something is more than words. It's emotions. It's showing the person they mean something. More than some random chick who happens to be into you."
Ema slings her jacket and holsters over her mostly bare shoulder as she reaches for the door, opening it before she looks back over her shoulder, her grin fading just a bit as she offers a wave behind Vixen's back and slinks out of the apartment.
Leonard notes Ema's passing and wave, returning it with only a slight nod as he continues to speak with Vixen. "So, everything that I've done doesn't amount to shit, until it's something you don't like? Second fiddle is fine as long as it's me to your life?" It isn't quite a heated accusation, but there is some of her requested emotion behind it. "You're the one with the thick skin, and it served you well enough. Maybe it's finally rubbing off on me."
"You see me here in front of you, Leo?" Vixen replies. She steps up to him slowly. "Do you hear my voice?" The voice laden with emotion. "Of course it meant something to me, cause if it didn't mean shit, I wouldn't have come here after you. I would have waited to see if you decided to come to me. And if you hadn't, that would have been it. LIfe goes on without a waver or care. I was trying to put you first more. Trying to change a bit for you because I understood how you felt." She shakes her head. "I let you get under my skin, Leo.. because I do care about you. And because I care about you, I want you all to myself. I don't want to share you."
Whatever bloated ego or haughty indifference, or whatever it is that Leonard is favoring at the moment falters. His eyes leave her for the floor before he drags them back. "It felt damned good, Vix, and I don't mean the... sharing. Standing up, leaping first, doing what no one would expect 'little Leo' to do..." Leonard's gaze drops off again to nothing in particular, and a wistful half-smile curls his lips. "Even upstaged Tirzah and her 'holier than thou, wolf to lamb' shit, and had that ancient, haughty, whatever-his-shadow-is eating out of my hand, then walked off with the damsel in distress..." Not that his aside is clear, but he seems to feel it relevent, before his gaze finds her once more. There is no shortage of emotion within it, although, as usual, confusion takes the largest portion. "I didn't offer to promise you it wouldn't happen again, because I don't know if it would end up the truth."
Vixen doesn't seem to understand just what he's talking about and shakes her head towards the end. "Who gives a shit what Tirzah thinks? Why do you care? She's a psycho half the times I've run into her. I don't give a shit about none of that." She frowns faintly. She reaches out, fingertips lightly touching his chest. "Why can't you just be you? Why do you wanna let people goad you and manipulate you? Cause that's what it sounds like.. you wanna show up a bunch of people whose opinions don't mean anything." Her hand lifts then and she points towards the door. "You think that chick cares about you? What is it about her that pulls at you that I haven't given?" Her voice softening at the last.
"Which me?" Brows lift with Leonard's query. "I never liked what I was, but even after I learned to do more than most, I was still less. You wouldn't have wanted to be me. You're the one that's helped me change, for the better." A soft, sincere smile replaces his former expression at that. "Opinions do matter, to me."
"Why?" Vixen steps up to him again and says, "You.. who you are now, who you're gunna be.. I don't care if you're a wolf or a lamb, you idiot." The temper in that not truly borne of anger. "Why do you care what Tirzah or anyone else thinks? What does it accomplish? You can be strong without letting a bunch of people that don't care for you goad you into being an ass. There's a difference between being strong and being an ass. The way you were talking before.. about upstaging and having people eat out of your hand.. that's asshole talk. I like that you're feeling stronger, but you got an urge to just lord it over everyone else, don't you? Wanna rub some faces in it?"
Leonard nods, loosing a sigh. "I'm pretty sure that I was an ass, and, yes, I wanted to rub faces in it. I wasn't the one eating dirt, for once, wasn't afraid of what /might/ happen, didn't run away..." His shoulders roll as his words run out. "Now, I'm back to not even finishing my own thoughts."
Vixen softens just a little and she lifts her hands, cupping his cheeks. "It's ok, Leo.. I'm g lad you weren't afraid or running or eating dirt. That's good, but the other stuff.. that's not good for you. Cause you know what? Some day you're going to be an ass to someone and it'll turn out they're stronger than you, then what happens? I don't want you to go back. Hell, I've been wanting you to be strong for me. To be decisive.. to take charge sometimes. But I want you to be decisive for me.. sweep me off my feet sometimes. I do want that promise Leo, I still do.. but don't think I don't understand, cause I do. I just know what I want now. I want you and I want you to want me and only me. Be my knight and be my sweet, soft one too cause there ain't nothing wrong with that. In the gazebo in the rain. I wasn't thinking about nothing that was outside of there, Leo. It felt nice."
Leonard is losing the battle to be the more empathetic one, but there are no arguments. He's had more practice at just the pathetic part, anyhow, and it IS much more endearing than asshole. His cheeks shift in her hands as he smiles, and his hands move to their easy, casual drape at her waist. "I want that, Vix, and I /do/ want you. You're good for me, much better than I am. Maybe we need to stop with the decisive and work on the idiocy, first, though." His smile curls a bit further. "Not sure how much more of that anyone can survive."
"You're not an idiot, Leo," Vixen replies softly. "You're young.. hell, I'm young too. I just had the 'advantage' of hitting speed bumps early in life. I can understand you wanting to be desired and looked up to. I like it when that happens too. But you know what I learned a while ago? Best way to do that is to always do your best and then the people that matter will respect you." Her hands lower, palms lightly pressing his chest. "And no matter what you might have thought, I respected you.. and.." She hesitates, her eyes dipping to the side slightly.
"You trusted me..." Leonard finishes the sentence, and unhappily so. "and I've ruined that, too. The few things that I want, have wanted." There are others that he could include in the list of those whose respect for him matter, but is also likley in the past tense.
"I did.. a lot," Vixen nods. Her eyes return to him. "I want to," she adds, her lips pursed. She's thinking, that obvious enough in her eyes. Considering.. weighing. "I think maybe.. we need a trade. Give and get, if we're going to be serious again." She keeps her eyes on his. "You promise me you'll break it off.. you'll try and be the best you that you can be. And I'll come here.. move in with you. Maybe that was my mistake.. I didn't hold on tight enough so you slipped away, thinking it didn't matter."
Leonard's surprise is easily read, and he weighs his response... for all of the time it takes him to blink. "Deal. Done..." He acts without much thought, but this time there is no doubt as to where Vixen stands in that. The thinking only comes after. "...but, please don't blame yourself for me, Vix."
A smile starts for Vixen, though it's quelled.. she thinks before she leaps in this moment. "You're sure, Leo? As much as I wanna just take your words right there, I want you to think." Her eyes linger on his own. "I.. I don't know what I'd do if you did it again." Her expression utterly serious. "And it was me too. I'm not gunna put it all on you. Just like I didn't before."
"I'm sure." His expression firms as Leonard nods and holds her gaze. "There was never any contest, as stupid as that sounds. If you're not sure what you'd do, let's not find out. I can't ask you to trust me, so all I can do is show you, if you'll let me."
Vixen smiles softly and her hands dip, then her arms wrap around him in a warm hug. "Leo.. I'll let you try." Her arms squeezing about him. "It'll take some time to get my stuff together and all. Gotta move my gear quick, don't want to be off the air for more than a few hours for moving." She lifts her head and looks to him. "Maybe that other room you got can be set up for it."
Leonard gives her a firm, fond squeeze, but finds himself chuckling at her sudden jump to business. At least it's a sign of normality. "Why don't you move your things, first? Vixen's, not the View's. Then we can get everything here arranged to your liking beforehand."
"I don't got too much to be honest.. mostly clothes. If you don't got a lot of space for that, I could get a little wardrobe," Vixen replies, a hand lifting from behind him to touch his cheek. "Good thing I didn't buy no furniture. Might bring in some things from storage.. I dunno. Gotta see what I have." She pauses, then grins a little. "But we can talk about that later.. business stuff. Sorry."
Leonard grins and relaxes his grip upon her. "We'll make it work. There's plenty of room for more furniture if we need it." He then nods as she excuses herself. "I understand. If you stayed too long, I think I'd start to worry. At least I don't need worry about boring you." His grin flares momentarily before he finally releases her.
"No no.. I mean I'm sorry for talking all this business crap." Vixen grins, softly amused. "I ain't going nowhere for now. After all.. I'm home ain't I? And it's too damn early to be awake. Maybe we should just.. you know, go to bed." Though she pauses, her expression faltering slightly. "Not in that bed.. not until the sheets get changed.. or burned."
Leonard looses a soft laugh. "Sorry. I think it's habit, when I hear later and business in the same sentence..." An arm motions to the spare room. "That bed hasn't been used since I moved in, and we'll probably move it out to make room, anyhow."
Vixen smiles softly at the response she gets and leans in and up just a bit to brush Leo's lips gently with her own. "You know what I think is sexy? A guy that understands," she murmurs. "I don't care if you're the weakest, wimpiest guy ever.. as long as you know how to take care of me. But if you wanna be strong too, I won't mind it at all. That's icing on the cake, babe."
"I'll do my best." Leonard returns the light affections, lowering himself more than is entirely necessary. His hands shift their grip lower before he straightens, lifting her in the process. "My sweeping of your feet could use some practice, of course."
Vixen's hands lift when he lifts her, wrapping about his neck, her legs lifting to encircle his hips, gripping snugly for security.. and pressing the air out from between them entirely. "You can practice on me anytime you want, Leo.. any time," she breathes softly, now able to lower her lips to his, rather than lift. Her fingers grip at his upper back, the next kiss more heated.
Leonard grins as he adjusts slightly to balance before continuing the sweeping in the direction of the unused bedroom. "Sure beats the gymmm..." She always has one guaranteed means of shutting him up when he talks too much.
Talk is cheap and she loses interest in it after the rough hash out that has passed between them. Before he gets all the way to the bedroom, Vixen manages to slip her coat from her shoulders, the heavy garment landing with a thud outside of the bedroom door. Freeing her of the weight, which she takes advantage of. an arm will be about his back, the hand of the other lifting to run through his hair, her lips glued to his until the bed is hit. Breaking off then for soft chuckles and coos to accompany the heated touches that shun the barriers of cloth and leather.
